If you have never experienced anyone with post traumatic stress then you just have no idea how terrible it is. The person you once knew is no longer there and there is nothing you can do to change it. The person you once knew as a loving, kind, happy helpful person was now a miserable, angry, aggressive, sulky person who hates life, sees no purpose in living and the slightest little thing can send them off into a fit of rage that would frighten even the most hardened souls.
Outsiders do not see the 'other side' to people going through this syndrome and unless you know the person well you may not pick up on the signs. On the other hand people living closely to a sufferer will notice that they start to lose interest in everything around them. They do not want to get up in the morning or go to bed at night but are too tired to do even little jobs. They hate themselves think they are inadequate and useless and they are difficult to talk to.
If their syndrome has been brought on by a traumatic episode then they my well suffer from nightmares. They will actually feel they are going through the stressful traumatic drama that happened possibly years ago. Waking in a sweat and feeling stressed and ill. They often also feel that they didn't do enough when they went through this trauma so will stress about that too.
If not address by a Doctor these symptoms will increase and will start affecting the whole body and its functions. This will then increase the stress the person is feeling and increase the feeling of being inferior, useless and what is the point of living. Often someone going through this will get their sleep patterns round the wrong way and will sleep in the day and be awake at night. A feeling of nervousness, like butterflies in the stomach, will be constantly there and headaches come on suddenly.
The rages are quite dangerous and it takes a lot of strength and straight talking to stop someone from doing something stupid. They lash out and lose all sense of reality and consequence. If you are faced with this then your strength, perseverance and your knowledge that the person isn't seeing you as you is essential.
It is a kind of depression with a twist and very sad to see. It is treatable but you need to be able to get them to go to the Doctors. They do come through it with medical help, support and understanding from their loved ones and time. I find it so sad seeing so many take their own lives when this is preventable. This is a real disorder and not one that you can 'just pull yourself together' and everything will be ok. It needs intervention, anyone who has been through a traumatic situation should be monitored. It can take years to come out and the changes are small at the beginning. So if you are living with someone who has been through something then be aware for any slight change never dismiss it and never be afraid to seek help.
Friday 31 January 2014
Sunday 19 January 2014
The highs and lows of 2013
Well 2014 has started quite well. A vast improvement from January last year. Looking back over 2013 I can honestly say au revoir with great gusto. Just a few memorable scenarios of last year were, no work in January and managing to survive on 16 euros, 60 kilo Rottweiler launching through patio door window, slipping on wet stones while walking Rottweiler and damaging my shoulder (never to be the same again), falling flat on my face again while carrying a gander, lost my Auntie, the trial and failure of keeping peahens, the husky with ticks, rats, mice and all things nice.
That said we managed to rehome a few cats, build a cattery, have the busiest August in history, put up a fence, hatch some chickens and sell a few things.
One thing I learnt was not to wear crocks as these have been the reason for me finding myself sprawled across the floor in impossible positions. Shame because I love this easy slip on cheap footwear. They seemed like the answer to all things muddy but when wet they just flip you like a pancake with little regard for age or place. The first fall was when I was walking a big Rottweiler, he was not impressed that I suddenly landed, almost on top of him, in the middle of a muddy field. The second time they flipped my over again in a muddy field while carrying a large angry gander who didn't take kindly to being tossed in the air while I went head first into the mud. I have had many other minor slips where I've just managed to right myself and being left with only a twisted ankle. So 2014 is the year of the walking shoe. I have purchased a pair of sturdy lace up walking shoes with non slip soles in a bright turquoise! So far they have been brilliant with not a twisted ankle or pancake flip in sight.
We also found out that our glass is of a very thin quality. First my son put his hip through the front door glass then the Rottweiler put his face through the patio doors. We spent many months with cardboard duct taped to the doors until we sorted out someone to replace them. My father wanted to mend his door himself so spent months attaching bits of wood in a slatted style with white filler in between. Making up a little ledges and various other strange things. He finally finished and painted it bright blue to not match anything! We then found a lovely man who fitted some double glazed doors in place of the patio doors. A wonderful job and sets of the blue door a treat!!
The next fun scenario was the Penhens. A lovely friend gave us some peahens and peacocks, we duly kept them in for the allotted time. After taking advice from various people we let the peacock out and he flew into the tree in front of our house. We then popped up to the village and when we came back he had gone. We later found out he had set up camp in a garden a few fields away. We then let the penhens out into the garden. They stayed a little longer than the peacock but soon they were sighted trotting off across the fields into the sunset. The last peacock was let out and it didn't even try the front garden just flew straight onto the roof of the house and then took off across the fields never to be seen again! So that was our brief encounter with these beautiful birds, the positive in all this is we have introduced them into the village!
The high points happened at the end of 2013. My son passed his driving test and got a Maths GCSC and both my son and daughter got given a dream job. I have decided that 2014 is about lists, organising and motivation. Hearing all these things you need to do to keep healthy I am trying to introduce some of them into my daily routines. I am also toying with the idea of having a recycling day to avoid the trauma of having to cram 100 bags and boxes into the car to take up to the village. This is a job a hate, despise and put off, so by making a specific day of the week would mean a smaller quantity and less of a drama. Anyway we shall have to see how that one goes.
The loss of my Auntie was sad, she was 93 and had been, shall we say, not really in the world for a few years. She was a feisty, full of fun lady and she leaves me with many great memories. She didn't suffer fools and always spoke her mind. She did what she wanted to do with no thought for anyone else. She lead a full life doing everything and at 93 she had had plenty of year to do it in. The last of my fathers sisters which leaves him on his own.
So this year I am going to take a leaf out of my Auntie's book and try to change a habit of a lifetime. Im working on rubbing out the 'I'm weak and care too much' written on my forehead! I'm also going to wear lipstick and a bra everyday and walking shoes not crocks. Im going to eat porridge every morning, walk for 30 minutes a day, say no more often, finish my book and decorate the house. Apart from that it will be the usual fun on funny farm.
That said we managed to rehome a few cats, build a cattery, have the busiest August in history, put up a fence, hatch some chickens and sell a few things.
One thing I learnt was not to wear crocks as these have been the reason for me finding myself sprawled across the floor in impossible positions. Shame because I love this easy slip on cheap footwear. They seemed like the answer to all things muddy but when wet they just flip you like a pancake with little regard for age or place. The first fall was when I was walking a big Rottweiler, he was not impressed that I suddenly landed, almost on top of him, in the middle of a muddy field. The second time they flipped my over again in a muddy field while carrying a large angry gander who didn't take kindly to being tossed in the air while I went head first into the mud. I have had many other minor slips where I've just managed to right myself and being left with only a twisted ankle. So 2014 is the year of the walking shoe. I have purchased a pair of sturdy lace up walking shoes with non slip soles in a bright turquoise! So far they have been brilliant with not a twisted ankle or pancake flip in sight.
We also found out that our glass is of a very thin quality. First my son put his hip through the front door glass then the Rottweiler put his face through the patio doors. We spent many months with cardboard duct taped to the doors until we sorted out someone to replace them. My father wanted to mend his door himself so spent months attaching bits of wood in a slatted style with white filler in between. Making up a little ledges and various other strange things. He finally finished and painted it bright blue to not match anything! We then found a lovely man who fitted some double glazed doors in place of the patio doors. A wonderful job and sets of the blue door a treat!!
The next fun scenario was the Penhens. A lovely friend gave us some peahens and peacocks, we duly kept them in for the allotted time. After taking advice from various people we let the peacock out and he flew into the tree in front of our house. We then popped up to the village and when we came back he had gone. We later found out he had set up camp in a garden a few fields away. We then let the penhens out into the garden. They stayed a little longer than the peacock but soon they were sighted trotting off across the fields into the sunset. The last peacock was let out and it didn't even try the front garden just flew straight onto the roof of the house and then took off across the fields never to be seen again! So that was our brief encounter with these beautiful birds, the positive in all this is we have introduced them into the village!
The high points happened at the end of 2013. My son passed his driving test and got a Maths GCSC and both my son and daughter got given a dream job. I have decided that 2014 is about lists, organising and motivation. Hearing all these things you need to do to keep healthy I am trying to introduce some of them into my daily routines. I am also toying with the idea of having a recycling day to avoid the trauma of having to cram 100 bags and boxes into the car to take up to the village. This is a job a hate, despise and put off, so by making a specific day of the week would mean a smaller quantity and less of a drama. Anyway we shall have to see how that one goes.
The loss of my Auntie was sad, she was 93 and had been, shall we say, not really in the world for a few years. She was a feisty, full of fun lady and she leaves me with many great memories. She didn't suffer fools and always spoke her mind. She did what she wanted to do with no thought for anyone else. She lead a full life doing everything and at 93 she had had plenty of year to do it in. The last of my fathers sisters which leaves him on his own.
So this year I am going to take a leaf out of my Auntie's book and try to change a habit of a lifetime. Im working on rubbing out the 'I'm weak and care too much' written on my forehead! I'm also going to wear lipstick and a bra everyday and walking shoes not crocks. Im going to eat porridge every morning, walk for 30 minutes a day, say no more often, finish my book and decorate the house. Apart from that it will be the usual fun on funny farm.
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