Well this morning, down on the Funny Farm, I was awakened by many bangs and crashes. Staggering out of bed, bleary eyed and knackered I wandered into the kitchen to find an over excited dog, a wide awake daughter and a tiny mouse stuck in the bottom of the dog food bin. All of which was not the normal greeting on a cold sleety Monday. My daughter squealed and told me how she had heard the mouse scrabbling around in the bottom of the bin and voila there it was. As she tried to get hold of it the little mouse bounced and bopped around in an effort to stay free. Just as she got hold of it, it jumped straight into the mouth of a waiting curious cat.
After all the fun of the mouse, the dogs began barking madly. Looking outside I saw the delivery man with the massive boxes of animal food. Dashing out in dressing gown and slipper I managed to step in a lovely big duck poo. Signing the computer screen with a squiggle that resembled nothing like my signature I hobbled over to the outside tap to wash my slipper. After cleaning off all remnants of duck poo I heaved up the massive box by the sturdy carry straps in an effort to take the 30 something kg box inside,only to find out the 'sturdy' carrying straps where actually not. As the straps broke the box tumbled down my dressing gown and landed on my duck poo slippered foot, splitting down the side and spilling the contents onto the soggy wet leaves.
After making several trips carrying heaving bags of animal feed into the house. I decided it was time to feed the outside cats as they had all congregated outside to see what all the commotion was. Taking one of the large bags outside with the scoop I was greeted by a dominant male called Brain who preceded to wrap his body around my ankles causing me to fly across the wet mud landing face first in, yes you guessed it, goose poo! I decided that I would throw a few biscuits out before going inside to shower and put my dressing gown in the washing machine. This proved too difficult today too. As I moved the full scoop across to the bowls Brain decided to headbutt me and tossed all the biscuits across the floor. Giving up I went inside.
Stepping under the lovely hot shower (the one luxury I have which I am thankful for everyday) I let the hot water cascade over me and after forcing the cement like freezing cold shower gel out of its bottle I managed a smile. This smile lasted all of 5 seconds as it suddenly ran cold causing me to jump, scream and slip backwards in the bath falling over so the ice cold water was spraying directly over all of me. Slipping and sliding to get up and get out seems to take an eternity. I finally got out and wrapped myself in a towel to find out why my shower had been so rudely interrupted. I did finally get a hot shower and am now dressed with 6 layers of thermals as you can see your breath in my house today.
I just have to deal with the dripping tap in the kitchen, change the gas bottle in the fire, clear the wood burner out ready for tonight and make some lunch. Life on the funny farm, never dull, never boring and always fun!!
Ps: Just caught my Dad trudging across the farm to the wood shop dragging two shopping trolleys behind him. Only problem with this was he had them round the wrong way so the metal stands where being dragged across the floor and not the wheels, causing major sparks, lots of noise and frightening all the animals!!
Monday, 19 January 2015
Tuesday, 2 December 2014
The 3 second dash and the travelling Ivy
Well I have had an eventful couple of weeks. Firstly I went down with a terrible bug which rendered me useless for over a week.
I woke up with a pounding headache, pains in my stomach and a desperate need to go to the toilet. This bug gave me about 3 seconds between knowing I needed to go to the toilet and knowing I was not going to make it! Being that our toilet is in the coldest, dampest most miserable end of the house it was not really my choice to spend a week hovering around the toilet door, shivering and sad. Added to this I found out at the onset of the bug that we had a total of one and a half toilet rolls and 5 hygienic wipes (or bum wipes as we call them) left in the house. As I am sure you all know by now that my toilet has the worst flush in the world and very little gets round the U bend, just adding to the joys of a stomach bug.
My dog, who usually trots in to join me when I go to the toilet, even got fed up with the amount of times I went and by the third day ignored my 3 minute mile dash through the corridors and doors in an effort to beat the 3 second warning!
After about 5 days I thought I was never going to get better and decided to phone the Dr. Hoping that I would be able to explain to him that there was no way I could drive the 4 minutes to his surgery and sit with ailing people for around one hour just to be told to drink plenty of fluids and rest. Well I need not have worried as all I was given was a garbled message, spoken in 100 miles an hour french that the surgery was shut today. I say surgery in a very lose way as it consists of one room and a tiny waiting room with a few chairs.
So bravely I stuck it out for the duration of the bug and finally the 3 second warning stretched to 3 minutes and after about 7 days I was finally better.
Well today I was taking a shower and of course not wearing my glasses. I looked up at the air vent, which I have duct taped a piece of cardboard over as the ice like air that blasts through the holes would freeze the balls off a monkey, and what did I see a long black line coming from it. At first I thought 'snake', then looking a bit closer I could see something green. After a quick soap down and rinse I grabbed my glasses and slipped them on.
Well you might have been wrong in thinking it was another slug to join the party going on in the toilet, or another little snail that might want to have a chin wag with the other snail who joined the slugs in the toilet but no it was the end of a creeping ivy. It had also had the cheek to spout a leaf sitting there all proud saying hello I have come to join you in the shower!
After said shower I went outside to investigate and the ivy has now overtaken the rambling bramble and it making its way to the roof which can only be a bad thing. I have heard rumours that Ivy can take a roof off!! I am so pleased, just another problem to add to the millions and another job that is being put to the top of the list of 'to dos'
It's a creeping crawling life on the Funny Farm
Friday, 31 October 2014
The case of the unknown knickers
Picture this if you will, I live in the middle of nowhere on a rural farm, a few fields from the nearest road and only fields and forests around.
This morning the sun is shining and the wind is blowing nicely, I have washing on ready to slap on the line, making the most of the, out of character, October sun. The wind turbines are whooshing around at great speed today too and all is well. The animals are sunning themselves in the warmth of the sun and the dogs are lazing around as usual. The geese, ducks and chickens are all busying themselves in the mass of grass and growth around the farm.
My daughter and I are eating porridge and planning the day when she says to me 'whats that hanging on the well pump Mum?' Looking out the window I see something black floating around in the wind. Having no idea what it could be and thinking it must be a back plastic bag that had been blown in that direction and got caught on the pump I go outside to investigate further. Getting closer I could see it was an item of clothing. When I got to the well pump I said to my daughter, 'it's only a pair of knickers!'
Taking them off the pump and holding them up, my daughter said 'well they aren't mine'. As they weren't mine either and definitely not my father's or my son's we looked at each other, laughed and said in unison 'where the hell did they come from then!!!
How could a pair of sun bleached black size 14 F&H knickers find themselves onto our farm and lodge themselves on the well pump? Having no neighbours nearby and being so far away from anyone how could they get here? I seriously doubt that someone would drive up to our farm and throw their knickers in the direction of the pump.
If anyone has visited me lately and found they left without their knickers please contact me as they may well be yours!!
Strange but true
Unexplained happenings on the Funny Farm
This morning the sun is shining and the wind is blowing nicely, I have washing on ready to slap on the line, making the most of the, out of character, October sun. The wind turbines are whooshing around at great speed today too and all is well. The animals are sunning themselves in the warmth of the sun and the dogs are lazing around as usual. The geese, ducks and chickens are all busying themselves in the mass of grass and growth around the farm.
My daughter and I are eating porridge and planning the day when she says to me 'whats that hanging on the well pump Mum?' Looking out the window I see something black floating around in the wind. Having no idea what it could be and thinking it must be a back plastic bag that had been blown in that direction and got caught on the pump I go outside to investigate further. Getting closer I could see it was an item of clothing. When I got to the well pump I said to my daughter, 'it's only a pair of knickers!'
Taking them off the pump and holding them up, my daughter said 'well they aren't mine'. As they weren't mine either and definitely not my father's or my son's we looked at each other, laughed and said in unison 'where the hell did they come from then!!!
How could a pair of sun bleached black size 14 F&H knickers find themselves onto our farm and lodge themselves on the well pump? Having no neighbours nearby and being so far away from anyone how could they get here? I seriously doubt that someone would drive up to our farm and throw their knickers in the direction of the pump.
If anyone has visited me lately and found they left without their knickers please contact me as they may well be yours!!
Strange but true
Unexplained happenings on the Funny Farm
Wednesday, 29 October 2014
The Tale of the Shower Head Part 2
After all the effort I went through to get a fully functional, comfortable shower, today my daughter turned on the shower and before she could do the swooping motion to check the temperature of the cascading water, the shower head disintegrated and water burst out in every angle drowning the bathroom and my daughter.
The first I heard of it was the squeals of horror as boiling hot water shot around the bathroom at great speed. I ran into the bathroom to see what was happening with dog in toe only to be met with water happily jetting itself on every wall.
The dog made a hasty retreat in case it was his turn for a shower as I tried to wade through the water to turn the taps off.
When examining the shower head I found the part where the water comes out had come unattached from the head itself. So there I was dripping wet trying to fix it. I suddenly had an idea the old shower had a good head as it was only the attachment that had cracked and broken.
So there we were, daughter in a little towel and me dripping wet, tiptoeing into the garage, trying to avoid dead mice and mud, looking for the old shower head, at this point a touch of deja vu crept in.
Finding the old shower head we triumphantly tiptoed back into the bathroom. Then came the job of trying to unscrew the broken shower head, which was stuck solid due to being outside for a few weeks lying in mud under the gorse bushes. Then I had the job of trying to unscrew the old shower head which was stuck fast due to limescale and old age! After 5 minutes we both shouted 'hoorah' as we had successfully attached the old shower head on. Then came the moment of truth as we turned on the taps and hay presto water cascaded out!
I did wonder again how many other people have had to go through this twice in one week just to have a shower!
Another day, another disaster conquered
Fun on the damp Funny Farm!!
The first I heard of it was the squeals of horror as boiling hot water shot around the bathroom at great speed. I ran into the bathroom to see what was happening with dog in toe only to be met with water happily jetting itself on every wall.
The dog made a hasty retreat in case it was his turn for a shower as I tried to wade through the water to turn the taps off.
When examining the shower head I found the part where the water comes out had come unattached from the head itself. So there I was dripping wet trying to fix it. I suddenly had an idea the old shower had a good head as it was only the attachment that had cracked and broken.
So there we were, daughter in a little towel and me dripping wet, tiptoeing into the garage, trying to avoid dead mice and mud, looking for the old shower head, at this point a touch of deja vu crept in.
Finding the old shower head we triumphantly tiptoed back into the bathroom. Then came the job of trying to unscrew the broken shower head, which was stuck solid due to being outside for a few weeks lying in mud under the gorse bushes. Then I had the job of trying to unscrew the old shower head which was stuck fast due to limescale and old age! After 5 minutes we both shouted 'hoorah' as we had successfully attached the old shower head on. Then came the moment of truth as we turned on the taps and hay presto water cascaded out!
I did wonder again how many other people have had to go through this twice in one week just to have a shower!
Another day, another disaster conquered
Fun on the damp Funny Farm!!
Monday, 27 October 2014
The Tale Of The Shower Head
My morning routine goes something like this. I struggle out of my warm bed, hobble out into the kitchen, make porridge and a cup of coffee and watch the news while consuming my breakfast. I then go and have a shower. The routine of the shower is the same everyday. I turn on the taps take my glasses off (something the isn't always remembered) and get in the shower. On this occasion I did my usual routines, took my glasses off and slipped my hand round the shower curtain to test if the water would strip my skin off or cause goosebumps. As my hand groped about in the general direction of where the water would be coming out I could feel nothing. My swooping motion got wider in an effort to reach the cascading water but still nothing, I then thought maybe I had not pulled the leaver up to make the water change direction, but this had been done. Having no glasses on I was unable to see where the water, which I could hear, was coming out. I then waved my hand under the taps only to feel the water coming out there. Turning off the taps I then reached for my glasses only to find out that the shower attachment had cracked and fallen off.
Standing in the bathroom trying to think of a way to mend it I suddenly remembered that a week ago I had sold a shower unit that had been installed in the garage (for reasons I don't know) and that we had taken off the shower attachment before the buyer took the shower unit away subsequently forgetting to take the shower attachment.
Optimistically I tiptoed into the garage with a towel wrapped around me, trying to avoid any dead mice or mud while searching for the attachment. Search as I might I could not find it. I went and asked my daughter where it went and she said that she had thrown it outside. Frustrated I then tried to open to garage door through a carpet of spiders webs. As it happened it was throwing it down with rain and the thought did cross my mind that maybe I should just stand outside to have a wash. Looking around in the six foot gorse bushes that had grown over the back of the garage in a twisted mass and the weeds that were more like triffids while trying to avoid getting stuck solid into the blackberry thorns. At this point I wondered who else had to go through all this just to have a bloody shower.
Suddenly there is was half submerged in the mud. Pulling it up out of the sticky wet mud I found my hair had welded itself into a section of the gorse bush. Ripping my hair out to free myself, which was now soaking wet, I left a clump of it behind hanging from the thorns.
Tiptoeing back into the house I fixed the shower to the taps, then found that it was shorter than the old on and would not fit in the holder. I then couldn't move the holder down as it was stuck fast. I stood there shaking it side to side moving it down a mm at a time until after 5 minutes it was at the right height. Triumphantly I turned on the taps, water cascaded out from the shower head and I jumped in only to find it was a sports shower head and the sudden sharp knife like jet of water hit my body with such force I was expecting to find my nipples laying on the floor. Squealing in pain I fiddled with the shower head trying to turn it to a more pleasant flow.
Finally I managed a nice warm shower and was able to start my day. I'm still wondering if anyone else ever has to go through all this just to have a shower.
Just a bit more fun from the Funny Farm.
Standing in the bathroom trying to think of a way to mend it I suddenly remembered that a week ago I had sold a shower unit that had been installed in the garage (for reasons I don't know) and that we had taken off the shower attachment before the buyer took the shower unit away subsequently forgetting to take the shower attachment.
Optimistically I tiptoed into the garage with a towel wrapped around me, trying to avoid any dead mice or mud while searching for the attachment. Search as I might I could not find it. I went and asked my daughter where it went and she said that she had thrown it outside. Frustrated I then tried to open to garage door through a carpet of spiders webs. As it happened it was throwing it down with rain and the thought did cross my mind that maybe I should just stand outside to have a wash. Looking around in the six foot gorse bushes that had grown over the back of the garage in a twisted mass and the weeds that were more like triffids while trying to avoid getting stuck solid into the blackberry thorns. At this point I wondered who else had to go through all this just to have a bloody shower.
Suddenly there is was half submerged in the mud. Pulling it up out of the sticky wet mud I found my hair had welded itself into a section of the gorse bush. Ripping my hair out to free myself, which was now soaking wet, I left a clump of it behind hanging from the thorns.
Tiptoeing back into the house I fixed the shower to the taps, then found that it was shorter than the old on and would not fit in the holder. I then couldn't move the holder down as it was stuck fast. I stood there shaking it side to side moving it down a mm at a time until after 5 minutes it was at the right height. Triumphantly I turned on the taps, water cascaded out from the shower head and I jumped in only to find it was a sports shower head and the sudden sharp knife like jet of water hit my body with such force I was expecting to find my nipples laying on the floor. Squealing in pain I fiddled with the shower head trying to turn it to a more pleasant flow.
Finally I managed a nice warm shower and was able to start my day. I'm still wondering if anyone else ever has to go through all this just to have a shower.
Just a bit more fun from the Funny Farm.
Friday, 15 August 2014
The Wonderful Power of Twitter
Hello all, I come to you today to tell you the story of my experiences with Twitter. I first came on Twitter a few years ago when I was on a housesit with nothing much to do but play about on the computer. I had heard a lot about it but had little experience. I tapped in, logged on and that's when the magic began.
At first I had a few people I was following, not really knowing what I was looking for and was not really a Twitter Pro! I following famous people, people who made me laugh and within a short time I was totally hooked.
The thing about Twitter is it can be a totally unfriendly arena or you can feel completely loved. There is no real inbetween. Gradually I found some lovely friends on there and also some family members. I have regular conversations with people and some of whom I intend to meet up with at some point. It can be a platform for building quality relationships and friendships that last a long time.
Twitter can be a fantastic marketing tool for all talents, businesses and advice. You can promote anything and know it reaches millions of viewers. I have had the pleasure of stumbling upon the best Authors and the most enjoyable books ever read, courtesy of Twitter. I have had people offering advice and pointing me in the right direction with issues or problems I might be encountering and offers of support and the odd cyber hug.
Then there is the other side of Twitter a very important side which I found out to be the best, most powerful side. There is the power of publicity when you have a problem. No company wants a problem aired to millions of people. This I found out quite by accident and fortunately for me it all worked to my advantage.
My first encounter with the power of Twitter was when I had been battling with Barclays for over 2 years with a fraud case. There had been the usual lost information, never received letters, threats from dept collectors and the usual stress that goes with these issues. One day I was reading Twitter with my morning coffee and there was a tweet from someone saying '2 months to sort out a problem Barclays need to get their act together'. I casually answered this with a smile on my lips and a little chuckle 'thats nothing I've had a fraud case going on for 2yrs, lost info & no end in sight'. Within 10 minutes I had a tweet from Barclays saying please email me all you details we are sorry you have had a problem.
I was so astonished but emailed them all the story (took several pages). I pressed the send button not expecting anything to happen. I was wrong, I got an email back straight away saying they were looking into the details and would be back to me within 2 weeks. I was shocked, but a part of me was saying, I bet it will be more like 2 years!
Well within 2 weeks I got an email asking for more details etc. I duly sent off more details. I then received a phone call which went something like this:
Hello Ms Davey, I am so sorry for the delay, I cannot tell you where your information went to as we have a record that we received it several times. We would like to inform you that we agree it was a fraud and we will be repaying everything back, restoring your credit rating and paying you compensation. We are really sorry this has taken so long and we have no explanation!
I sad down and cried as this was such a relief I could not believe it was sorted after years of stress!
My second encounter with the power of Twitter was a problem with a phone company over here SFR. My daughter cancelled the contract with them and stopped her monthly payments. They didn't register that she had cancelled the contact and carried on sending her demands for money unpaid. We went in the shop to sort it out, we sent letters, we even paid the other bills just to shut them up but nothing worked. So again I went on Twitter to ask SFR what I had to do to get them to realise that we had paid all the bills and cancelled the contract. They agreed that we had paid but that the outstanding (in their opinion) had been sent to the debt collectors! I then sent all the Twitter conversation off to the debt collectors plus all the information to prove we had paid it. They still did't agree that we had paid and the saga went on. This went on for 8 months. Finally after sending proof from the bank that we had paid all bills I told them to go away otherwise I would send them my medical bills for the stress they are causing me. Well I then get the debt collectors following me on Twitter and then a message comes through saying that they have sorted it, sorry and the case is closed.
My last Power of Twitter is finding a lovely family member who is a wonderful Author and artist. Peter Davey just turned up on Twitter on my timeline and we hit it off straight away which has been a true blessing.
So you see Twitter has many faces, many uses and is a wonderful platform for a multitude of needs.
This is my tribute to Twitter for helping me with many things, some stressful and some a delight.
So to Twitter I say 'Thank you very much' The Funny Farm thinks your fantastic!
At first I had a few people I was following, not really knowing what I was looking for and was not really a Twitter Pro! I following famous people, people who made me laugh and within a short time I was totally hooked.
The thing about Twitter is it can be a totally unfriendly arena or you can feel completely loved. There is no real inbetween. Gradually I found some lovely friends on there and also some family members. I have regular conversations with people and some of whom I intend to meet up with at some point. It can be a platform for building quality relationships and friendships that last a long time.
Twitter can be a fantastic marketing tool for all talents, businesses and advice. You can promote anything and know it reaches millions of viewers. I have had the pleasure of stumbling upon the best Authors and the most enjoyable books ever read, courtesy of Twitter. I have had people offering advice and pointing me in the right direction with issues or problems I might be encountering and offers of support and the odd cyber hug.
Then there is the other side of Twitter a very important side which I found out to be the best, most powerful side. There is the power of publicity when you have a problem. No company wants a problem aired to millions of people. This I found out quite by accident and fortunately for me it all worked to my advantage.
My first encounter with the power of Twitter was when I had been battling with Barclays for over 2 years with a fraud case. There had been the usual lost information, never received letters, threats from dept collectors and the usual stress that goes with these issues. One day I was reading Twitter with my morning coffee and there was a tweet from someone saying '2 months to sort out a problem Barclays need to get their act together'. I casually answered this with a smile on my lips and a little chuckle 'thats nothing I've had a fraud case going on for 2yrs, lost info & no end in sight'. Within 10 minutes I had a tweet from Barclays saying please email me all you details we are sorry you have had a problem.
I was so astonished but emailed them all the story (took several pages). I pressed the send button not expecting anything to happen. I was wrong, I got an email back straight away saying they were looking into the details and would be back to me within 2 weeks. I was shocked, but a part of me was saying, I bet it will be more like 2 years!
Well within 2 weeks I got an email asking for more details etc. I duly sent off more details. I then received a phone call which went something like this:
Hello Ms Davey, I am so sorry for the delay, I cannot tell you where your information went to as we have a record that we received it several times. We would like to inform you that we agree it was a fraud and we will be repaying everything back, restoring your credit rating and paying you compensation. We are really sorry this has taken so long and we have no explanation!
I sad down and cried as this was such a relief I could not believe it was sorted after years of stress!
My second encounter with the power of Twitter was a problem with a phone company over here SFR. My daughter cancelled the contract with them and stopped her monthly payments. They didn't register that she had cancelled the contact and carried on sending her demands for money unpaid. We went in the shop to sort it out, we sent letters, we even paid the other bills just to shut them up but nothing worked. So again I went on Twitter to ask SFR what I had to do to get them to realise that we had paid all the bills and cancelled the contract. They agreed that we had paid but that the outstanding (in their opinion) had been sent to the debt collectors! I then sent all the Twitter conversation off to the debt collectors plus all the information to prove we had paid it. They still did't agree that we had paid and the saga went on. This went on for 8 months. Finally after sending proof from the bank that we had paid all bills I told them to go away otherwise I would send them my medical bills for the stress they are causing me. Well I then get the debt collectors following me on Twitter and then a message comes through saying that they have sorted it, sorry and the case is closed.
My last Power of Twitter is finding a lovely family member who is a wonderful Author and artist. Peter Davey just turned up on Twitter on my timeline and we hit it off straight away which has been a true blessing.
So you see Twitter has many faces, many uses and is a wonderful platform for a multitude of needs.
This is my tribute to Twitter for helping me with many things, some stressful and some a delight.
So to Twitter I say 'Thank you very much' The Funny Farm thinks your fantastic!
Sunday, 10 August 2014
Soggy Headings
So while I move pee sodden newspaper around into a ball with my plastic crocks trying not to step on three black balls of fur biting at my trousers, clawing my legs and chewing the strap of my shoes, I dream of lying on a warm beach with the white sand cascading through my toes and the sound of the waves gently rolling in and out. Back in reality I find I have trodden on a soft brown poo hiding just out of sight beside some wet paper. Scraping it off onto the saturated newspaper which, most fittingly, has a heading of 'I saw my mother get sucked down the toilet' I wondered why people put themselves through all this everyday. For me this is just a job and one that in a weeks time I can leave and go home but for some it is an everyday routine.
Poo seems to feature quit regularly in my life now, not through choice but from a desperate need to earn a living and trying to find something that you don't need to speak the language fluently and you don't really need to use your intelligence or brain power. If it's not animals poo it the blocked toilet I have to contend with on a daily basis.Then there is the smell of the Fosse and when the wind is blowing towards the house the whole place smells like a cow shed.
This worked for me a few years ago when I had little or no brainpower left, I was coming out from many traumas and stress and just needed something that took me away from reality. Well now I am, what you could say, all better I am needing to use my brain again and engage in the real world.
Cleaning up dogs poo and making scrambled eggs and rice pudding for 4 legged fluff balls, having my arms pulled out of their sockets on walks, woken up at night with howling visitors and being knocked off my feet by 50kg monsters is all very well and dandy but this girl needs to get more time to be creative.
I have many project on the go and that's where they stop. On the go is about as far as I can get them due to the lack of time. I have a house which is in needs of lots of work, there are the daily jobs that take up most of my time and that's without trying to make a living. Far too much for one person by themselves. My days of multitasking have flown away, just the word multitasking brings me out into a cold sweat. We strive for bigger and better things in life but we are a long time dead. These days I am elated when I see the hot water coming out of the tap and ecstatic when I've ordered wood for the winter. I have to admit though that I have had in my wish list a beautiful dark pink Fosse bag which matches my purse and in my wish list it will stay as who can justify £100 for a bag! I do peek at it now and then just to make sure it is still just as beautiful.
Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the business I have built up, albeit small. It has kept food on our table and shoes on our feet, I just sometimes, when I am knee deep in excrement, wish I was back in my office talking to clients on the phone and organising print schedules and delivery dates, outwork and orders and all things print!!
Oh and by the way the weather here in France today is pants! So much for balmy evenings, warm summer days sipping wine and eating cheese, its chucking it down and blowing a gale!!
Back to poo collections and reading sodden newspaper headings! Life not so far away from the Funny Farm
Poo seems to feature quit regularly in my life now, not through choice but from a desperate need to earn a living and trying to find something that you don't need to speak the language fluently and you don't really need to use your intelligence or brain power. If it's not animals poo it the blocked toilet I have to contend with on a daily basis.Then there is the smell of the Fosse and when the wind is blowing towards the house the whole place smells like a cow shed.
This worked for me a few years ago when I had little or no brainpower left, I was coming out from many traumas and stress and just needed something that took me away from reality. Well now I am, what you could say, all better I am needing to use my brain again and engage in the real world.
Cleaning up dogs poo and making scrambled eggs and rice pudding for 4 legged fluff balls, having my arms pulled out of their sockets on walks, woken up at night with howling visitors and being knocked off my feet by 50kg monsters is all very well and dandy but this girl needs to get more time to be creative.
I have many project on the go and that's where they stop. On the go is about as far as I can get them due to the lack of time. I have a house which is in needs of lots of work, there are the daily jobs that take up most of my time and that's without trying to make a living. Far too much for one person by themselves. My days of multitasking have flown away, just the word multitasking brings me out into a cold sweat. We strive for bigger and better things in life but we are a long time dead. These days I am elated when I see the hot water coming out of the tap and ecstatic when I've ordered wood for the winter. I have to admit though that I have had in my wish list a beautiful dark pink Fosse bag which matches my purse and in my wish list it will stay as who can justify £100 for a bag! I do peek at it now and then just to make sure it is still just as beautiful.
Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the business I have built up, albeit small. It has kept food on our table and shoes on our feet, I just sometimes, when I am knee deep in excrement, wish I was back in my office talking to clients on the phone and organising print schedules and delivery dates, outwork and orders and all things print!!
Oh and by the way the weather here in France today is pants! So much for balmy evenings, warm summer days sipping wine and eating cheese, its chucking it down and blowing a gale!!
Back to poo collections and reading sodden newspaper headings! Life not so far away from the Funny Farm
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