I have just spent the best part of this afternoon making a pie. First getting all the ingredients together cooking, seasoning and then making the sauce for the pie. Then I set about making the pastry, rolling it out fitting and pressing, rolling then cutting and trimming it to fit the pie dish. Then putting it all together and cooking it.
This got me thinking about days gone by. In the past, like my mother, mums would stay at home bring up the children and cook for the family. This, in those days, consisted of making everything from scratch. When I was young there were no ready make meals and everything has a recipe or a passed down technique from mother to daughter.
I know now how long this takes and being a stay at home mum was a very full time job. Not saying it isn't now but no wonderfully organised mum would have time to go to work and make pies, wash out toweling nappies by hand, sew dresses and keep the house clean with brooms and solid polish.
The modern woman is expected to go out to work, putting their children into care with strangers, keep their house clean and cook. I for one, would have loved to have had the privilege of being a stay at home mum. This was something I always wanted to be but my 'wonderful' husband said when I gave birth to my first child that there was no way he was going to be going out to work all day just to keep me sitting at home with the baby. This meant my dear mum and dad took over the care of my children and I went back to work.
I remember rushing home in my lunch hour to make a flan ready for evening. Trying to live up to the standard my dear mum had and to try to do the things stay at home mums did. This didn't last long as it was just to hard trying to juggle everything at once.
By going back to work I missed my children's first step, first word and all the fun experiences you get when you have children, something you can never get back if you miss.
The world seems to have gone a bit crazy, with all the publicity encouraging woman to work and fine child care. In my opinion there is plenty of time to work after the children are at school and the roll of a mum is to be there for their babies.
I know if I had my time back I would not have gone back to work and ignored the rantings of my husband being jealous of me having a bit of time off work.
There are a lot of people who would disagree with me but I feel the balance of life has been tilted in the wrong direction and the warm safe family unit has been eroded.
In an ideal world we would be getting back to making things, instead of eating all this processed packaged foods which you are not quite sure what is in it. The treasured arts of sewing, cooking and housework would still be being passed down from generation to generation.
So back to my home made pie which is about ready to eat and being the stay at home mum I finally am!!
Love from the Funny Farm x
Friday, 27 June 2014
Wednesday, 4 June 2014
The Mother-In-Law
I always thought I was very fortunate not to have a Mother-In-Law. My ex husband's mother left the family when he was a small boy, never to be seen again. I had a friend who's mother-in-law was an interfering lady, who made my friend feel like she wasn't bringing her children up correctly and always outdid the present giving. Luckily for her the mother-in-law is not an ex so not giving her so much trouble.
I remember my fathers mother, my grandma, and her hatred of my mum. She resented my Dad marrying my mum and remarked that he was marrying beneath him and thought he could have done better. She also said that it was far too early for him to be leaving home. This was because she was upset about losing the housekeeping money he gave her. Funny thing was he used to visit her regularly and still gave her money on the quiet. My Mum would have been so upset if she had found out as they struggled a lot when they were first married. She would also have been more upset if she knew her mother-in-law spent the money betting!
The few visits from the in-laws always went badly. There were always fights over how to hang up my father's washing. My mother would peg up his shirts and his mother would take them down and peg them up a different way, tutting and saying she didn't know how he survived married to someone who didn't know how to peg things up properly.
Then there was the refusal to eat the food my mother cooked, saying that is was overdone, underdone, tough, inedible and leaving it all on the plate. Hurtful to say the least, especially when my mother has spent her last penny to buy the best.
One a few occasions, she would stand up and gather her long suffering husband (my Grandpa) and say Ted we are going home, can't spent another minute here! Leaving uneaten dinners and a bad atmosphere.
I remember the day my mother was informed by a family member that her mother-in-law had died. She jumped, skipped and ran down the stairs singing 'This is my lovely day' only to slip and fall down the last few steps cracking her coccyx and being in pain for weeks! In her words the pain was worth the celebrations hahaha.
I have heard many other stories of the mother-in-law from hell plus many wonderful mother-in-laws. I aim to be a lovely mother-in-law and hopefully will be loved. I still stand by my original statement that I am glad I didn't have one and the hassle that sometimes comes along with having one. So celebrate the Mother-In-Laws around the world good or bad, just don't break anything doing it!
I remember my fathers mother, my grandma, and her hatred of my mum. She resented my Dad marrying my mum and remarked that he was marrying beneath him and thought he could have done better. She also said that it was far too early for him to be leaving home. This was because she was upset about losing the housekeeping money he gave her. Funny thing was he used to visit her regularly and still gave her money on the quiet. My Mum would have been so upset if she had found out as they struggled a lot when they were first married. She would also have been more upset if she knew her mother-in-law spent the money betting!
The few visits from the in-laws always went badly. There were always fights over how to hang up my father's washing. My mother would peg up his shirts and his mother would take them down and peg them up a different way, tutting and saying she didn't know how he survived married to someone who didn't know how to peg things up properly.
Then there was the refusal to eat the food my mother cooked, saying that is was overdone, underdone, tough, inedible and leaving it all on the plate. Hurtful to say the least, especially when my mother has spent her last penny to buy the best.
One a few occasions, she would stand up and gather her long suffering husband (my Grandpa) and say Ted we are going home, can't spent another minute here! Leaving uneaten dinners and a bad atmosphere.
I remember the day my mother was informed by a family member that her mother-in-law had died. She jumped, skipped and ran down the stairs singing 'This is my lovely day' only to slip and fall down the last few steps cracking her coccyx and being in pain for weeks! In her words the pain was worth the celebrations hahaha.
I have heard many other stories of the mother-in-law from hell plus many wonderful mother-in-laws. I aim to be a lovely mother-in-law and hopefully will be loved. I still stand by my original statement that I am glad I didn't have one and the hassle that sometimes comes along with having one. So celebrate the Mother-In-Laws around the world good or bad, just don't break anything doing it!
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
That Sinking Feeling
So today I stagger out of bed after being prompted by 3 alarms and go for my usual wee on the usual blocked toilet.
The routine of the morning goes something like this. I have to make porridge for the children before they go to work. Let the dog out for his wee on an unblocked field, and sit down with a coffee in front of the news. After the children have gone off to work I set to carrying out the routine of unblocking the toilet. I have mastered this procedure over the seven years of living in France. It takes a cursory flush then a forceful, rigorous plunge. Then four buckets of water tipped from a great height to get maximum jet action, then a wipe round with a disinfectant wipe, some foss friendly pointless cleaner (only function is to mask the ode to farmyard smell) and then a good scrub with a toilet brush and then a final four buckets of water tipped from a great height. That concludes my daily ritual of the unblocking toilet routine.
Today though I woke up from having little sleep. This was due to the cringe worthy, utterly embarrassing, crawl in a ball, fall down a large hole, fall asleep and never wake up type of day I had yesterday.
I had clients coming, clients to visit, the internet man was coming to fix the internet after having no phone or internet for week, an appointment with the Drs and various other things to try and fit around my already busy day.
I thought I had timed everything down to the last half hour, when a client failed to turn up in the allotted time given. This caused a problem as I had to go out to see another client. In my infinite wisdom I left my 84 year old dad in charge of meeting and greeting the late client. Nothing could go wrong I thought. I prepped him on anything and everything I thought could go wrong. As these were new clients I had coffee ready and was going to sit and chat with them etc. Well off I went to client and hoped and prayed all would go well.
I got back home to find another client on site and Dad said that the late client had turned up and all was well. After a while I asked Dad if he had given them a coffee and he said no but the man had used the toilet. No toilets are not a strong point on this farm, you would never find one in 'Homes and Gardens' and I have to be given plenty of warning if someone wants to venture in to take a leak!!
Tentatively asking him which toilet the client has used he said he had let him use the one in the long barn!!!!!!!!! My heart sank, I just wanted to sit and cry. I asked him why he would let someone into a toilet that was broken no water in it, rubbish bags waiting to go to the bins in the village, piles of junk everywhere and a smell that would render even the most sinus challenged person unconscious. I was speechless, what can you say when something has been done and there is nothing you can do about it?
I was always taught, in my years in client services, that if something goes wrong it's the recovery that saves the day. The way in which you deal swiftly, calmly and with precision is how you will be remembered and the error gets forgotten. So trying to put these words of wisdom into practice I called the client to say that everything was ok and to apologise for the toilet that wasn't a toilet but a smelly junk room, but even while talking to him I wanted to crawl into a corner and die.
I can just imagine the conversation he had with his wife about his experience in the room from hell. So today, even though it is raining I shall be moving the junk from the room and cleaning it out and adding a sign on the door saying 'private'.
Apart from that, the internet man turned up at 8am and walked straight in my house without knocking, after propelling himself over the fence in his hydraulic lift on the back of the van (we do have a gate by the way!). Luckily I was in my pjs not someone who walks around naked in the morning! I then made my son a cup of tea with coffee in it and tried to put the drying up cloth back in the food cupboard. I then spend half an hour walking on my heels and toes in the Drs room while being asked in french where it hurts!
So today, it might be raining cords (as the french say,) I am tired, the dog has come in soaked and shook all over me and the kitchen, all is well and nothing a little sleep, some chocolate and coffee won't fix.
Life on the Funny Farm remains hilarious!
The routine of the morning goes something like this. I have to make porridge for the children before they go to work. Let the dog out for his wee on an unblocked field, and sit down with a coffee in front of the news. After the children have gone off to work I set to carrying out the routine of unblocking the toilet. I have mastered this procedure over the seven years of living in France. It takes a cursory flush then a forceful, rigorous plunge. Then four buckets of water tipped from a great height to get maximum jet action, then a wipe round with a disinfectant wipe, some foss friendly pointless cleaner (only function is to mask the ode to farmyard smell) and then a good scrub with a toilet brush and then a final four buckets of water tipped from a great height. That concludes my daily ritual of the unblocking toilet routine.
Today though I woke up from having little sleep. This was due to the cringe worthy, utterly embarrassing, crawl in a ball, fall down a large hole, fall asleep and never wake up type of day I had yesterday.
I had clients coming, clients to visit, the internet man was coming to fix the internet after having no phone or internet for week, an appointment with the Drs and various other things to try and fit around my already busy day.
I thought I had timed everything down to the last half hour, when a client failed to turn up in the allotted time given. This caused a problem as I had to go out to see another client. In my infinite wisdom I left my 84 year old dad in charge of meeting and greeting the late client. Nothing could go wrong I thought. I prepped him on anything and everything I thought could go wrong. As these were new clients I had coffee ready and was going to sit and chat with them etc. Well off I went to client and hoped and prayed all would go well.
I got back home to find another client on site and Dad said that the late client had turned up and all was well. After a while I asked Dad if he had given them a coffee and he said no but the man had used the toilet. No toilets are not a strong point on this farm, you would never find one in 'Homes and Gardens' and I have to be given plenty of warning if someone wants to venture in to take a leak!!
Tentatively asking him which toilet the client has used he said he had let him use the one in the long barn!!!!!!!!! My heart sank, I just wanted to sit and cry. I asked him why he would let someone into a toilet that was broken no water in it, rubbish bags waiting to go to the bins in the village, piles of junk everywhere and a smell that would render even the most sinus challenged person unconscious. I was speechless, what can you say when something has been done and there is nothing you can do about it?
I was always taught, in my years in client services, that if something goes wrong it's the recovery that saves the day. The way in which you deal swiftly, calmly and with precision is how you will be remembered and the error gets forgotten. So trying to put these words of wisdom into practice I called the client to say that everything was ok and to apologise for the toilet that wasn't a toilet but a smelly junk room, but even while talking to him I wanted to crawl into a corner and die.
I can just imagine the conversation he had with his wife about his experience in the room from hell. So today, even though it is raining I shall be moving the junk from the room and cleaning it out and adding a sign on the door saying 'private'.
Apart from that, the internet man turned up at 8am and walked straight in my house without knocking, after propelling himself over the fence in his hydraulic lift on the back of the van (we do have a gate by the way!). Luckily I was in my pjs not someone who walks around naked in the morning! I then made my son a cup of tea with coffee in it and tried to put the drying up cloth back in the food cupboard. I then spend half an hour walking on my heels and toes in the Drs room while being asked in french where it hurts!
So today, it might be raining cords (as the french say,) I am tired, the dog has come in soaked and shook all over me and the kitchen, all is well and nothing a little sleep, some chocolate and coffee won't fix.
Life on the Funny Farm remains hilarious!
Friday, 16 May 2014
Juggle Juggle Juggle
The last few weeks on the 'Funny Farm' have been a mixture of running and juggling. Trying to slot in all sorts strange things into the usual daily muck and muddle.
Last week my Dad came back from a visit to family in the UK. He arrived back at 2am and set the whole farm off barking, squawking, meowing and growling. After being woken up its always hard to get back to sleep and means the day ahead is just a blur. He came back with chocolate and two bottles of Baileys so looks like my diet will have to wait a bit longer.
The rain sun rain sun sort of weather we have been having has made the grass grow so high I disappeared when trying to hang the washing up. There I was wading through the long grass hoping not to tread on a snake trying to make it to the washing line. When there I had a small line of slightly shorter grass, having pegged up all the clothes I stood back to view the clean washing swaying in the long grass with only the pegs on show!
The trouble is my strimmer is too big for me to use and I cannot get it started. The other problem is the mower has a blunt blade and a wire which has come unattached! I did at one point resort to a pair of scissors to cut some of the long course grass from around the concrete pots just so you can see the little purple flowers. I was lucky enough to have a lovely friend come over and strim some of the garden, enough for me to use a borrowed mower to battle the war of the green stuff. The mower I borrowed was not very powerful and not really fit to tackle the mass of thick, thin, tufts, course, silky and tough grass that covers the front of my house and is known as my lawn! Not quite the same as the lovely lawn I had in the UK. It was silky bright green and level. The grass here has massive holes in it which are big enough for the mower and me to fall down and with all the thick grass you are unaware you are about to follow the mower and plunge head first down a hole. Something that I did a few times last week. After a lot of blood, sweat and tears the green stuff is now only a couple of inches tall. We are getting there!
Apart from that I have spent a few hours with a friend, laughing, breathing in, carrying boxes over my head, heaving, pushing, peering, taking pictures and stacking. All in the name of helping and being a good friend. It's amazing how much fun you can have doing a grueling job.
Also on the agenda this week has been the hospital, Dad had several teeth out and 6 stitches. He is now on a cold liquid diet for a few days. Then we had to go to the Doctors and the Pharmacie and the Tax office. The internet live box packed up and the phone now doesn't work, now have to wait until next week for them to send out an engineer. I also found out you have to order a cheque book in France they don't just see you have used your last one and send you another as happens in the UK. So now I have to wait over a week to get a new one.
I am now on a lovely housesit but have found out I am allergic to Tonkinese cats fur and my eyes are swollen, red and running. Strange as I have 21 cats at home and have no problem and I'm sitting with a dog and cat curled around me and looking at a book called 'Fifty Sheds Damper' with a wipe clean cover!! hahahaha
Last week my Dad came back from a visit to family in the UK. He arrived back at 2am and set the whole farm off barking, squawking, meowing and growling. After being woken up its always hard to get back to sleep and means the day ahead is just a blur. He came back with chocolate and two bottles of Baileys so looks like my diet will have to wait a bit longer.
The rain sun rain sun sort of weather we have been having has made the grass grow so high I disappeared when trying to hang the washing up. There I was wading through the long grass hoping not to tread on a snake trying to make it to the washing line. When there I had a small line of slightly shorter grass, having pegged up all the clothes I stood back to view the clean washing swaying in the long grass with only the pegs on show!
The trouble is my strimmer is too big for me to use and I cannot get it started. The other problem is the mower has a blunt blade and a wire which has come unattached! I did at one point resort to a pair of scissors to cut some of the long course grass from around the concrete pots just so you can see the little purple flowers. I was lucky enough to have a lovely friend come over and strim some of the garden, enough for me to use a borrowed mower to battle the war of the green stuff. The mower I borrowed was not very powerful and not really fit to tackle the mass of thick, thin, tufts, course, silky and tough grass that covers the front of my house and is known as my lawn! Not quite the same as the lovely lawn I had in the UK. It was silky bright green and level. The grass here has massive holes in it which are big enough for the mower and me to fall down and with all the thick grass you are unaware you are about to follow the mower and plunge head first down a hole. Something that I did a few times last week. After a lot of blood, sweat and tears the green stuff is now only a couple of inches tall. We are getting there!
Apart from that I have spent a few hours with a friend, laughing, breathing in, carrying boxes over my head, heaving, pushing, peering, taking pictures and stacking. All in the name of helping and being a good friend. It's amazing how much fun you can have doing a grueling job.
Also on the agenda this week has been the hospital, Dad had several teeth out and 6 stitches. He is now on a cold liquid diet for a few days. Then we had to go to the Doctors and the Pharmacie and the Tax office. The internet live box packed up and the phone now doesn't work, now have to wait until next week for them to send out an engineer. I also found out you have to order a cheque book in France they don't just see you have used your last one and send you another as happens in the UK. So now I have to wait over a week to get a new one.
I am now on a lovely housesit but have found out I am allergic to Tonkinese cats fur and my eyes are swollen, red and running. Strange as I have 21 cats at home and have no problem and I'm sitting with a dog and cat curled around me and looking at a book called 'Fifty Sheds Damper' with a wipe clean cover!! hahahaha
Saturday, 3 May 2014
Let's Just Say ............
This week I spent a whole day sorting clearing and changing a computer desk over with a shelving unit.
I threw loads away, moved the table outside to the cattery, where I could place the antibacterial hand gel and virus killing spray on it to be used on entry. I organised wires, placed phones, printers and live boxes on the disinfected shelves. I bagged up things that had got out of hand on the shelves. I washed the floor cleaned the walls, removing the mold and boxed up things that were becoming unruly.
After all the hard work I decided to try the mango paint I have bought for the kitchen walls. A bright sunny colour that I thought would make the mornings and wake up process a little easier.
So I slopped the paint on covering me and the walls, floors and anything in a metre radius. I completed a small metre square patch on the wall. Loved the colour it was just as sunny and bright as I thought it would be.
Anyway the next day my friend turned up to walk my dogs with her dog. After this she came in for a coffee. I told her about all my hard work. While she sat there drinking her coffee and eating chocolate cake she casually said ' well when you have finished sorting and organising the shelves it will look really good. Love the colour of the wall. Did you prepare the wall before you painted?
With a gulp of coffee I told her that the shelving unit was organised and completed! She laughed her head off and said is that the best it's going to be??
As for 'preparing' the walls - what was that I asked I just slapped the paint on over everything. She laughed again and told me all the arduous tasks you should go through before slapping paint on!!
So 'let's just say' I am not good at DIY and I am not very good (apparently) at organising and sorting. See you learn something every day.
Chaos still reigns on the Funny Farm
I threw loads away, moved the table outside to the cattery, where I could place the antibacterial hand gel and virus killing spray on it to be used on entry. I organised wires, placed phones, printers and live boxes on the disinfected shelves. I bagged up things that had got out of hand on the shelves. I washed the floor cleaned the walls, removing the mold and boxed up things that were becoming unruly.
After all the hard work I decided to try the mango paint I have bought for the kitchen walls. A bright sunny colour that I thought would make the mornings and wake up process a little easier.
So I slopped the paint on covering me and the walls, floors and anything in a metre radius. I completed a small metre square patch on the wall. Loved the colour it was just as sunny and bright as I thought it would be.
Anyway the next day my friend turned up to walk my dogs with her dog. After this she came in for a coffee. I told her about all my hard work. While she sat there drinking her coffee and eating chocolate cake she casually said ' well when you have finished sorting and organising the shelves it will look really good. Love the colour of the wall. Did you prepare the wall before you painted?
With a gulp of coffee I told her that the shelving unit was organised and completed! She laughed her head off and said is that the best it's going to be??
As for 'preparing' the walls - what was that I asked I just slapped the paint on over everything. She laughed again and told me all the arduous tasks you should go through before slapping paint on!!
So 'let's just say' I am not good at DIY and I am not very good (apparently) at organising and sorting. See you learn something every day.
Chaos still reigns on the Funny Farm
Monday, 28 April 2014
My Birthday
Well today it's my Birthday. Will there be balloons, flowing wine and celebrations? Now that's a nice thought but the reality is 'I don't think so'!
Gone are the days when you wake up to presents copious amounts of cards and Birthday wishes. I remember my work days in the UK when it was your responsibility to buy cakes for everyone in the firm when it was your Birthday. They had to be cream cakes and very calorific. You would get in to work and your desk would be covered in cards and presents and your working day would be lightened as a reward.
I remember the excitement of wondering what my dear Mum had bought me. She knew me so well that I always got given something wonderful. She would cook me one of her magnificent meals, she was just a divine cook and her roast potatoes were like clouds, fluffy and light.
My Birthdays when I was married were grim. I never got a present from my husband, I was lucky if he remembered. I remember once he wrapped up a load of old jewellery and there was I thinking he had actually bothered. On my 40th Birthday he thew all my presents and broke them in jealousy and hated me getting more cards than him, someone you had to feel sorry for and hope one day he will be happy with himself inside and out.
This year my Birthday will go like this, the toilet needs to be unblocked, the dogs need walking, the cats need feeding, the eggs need collecting, vet appointment, recycling needs doing, rubbish bags taken to the bins, washing and I need to get on with my latest portrait.
Am I happy, yes very, I had a kiss and hug from my two lovely children, my dog was happy to see to me today with waggy tail and a kiss, I am having a coffee with a friend later today, it isn't raining and the sun is trying to come out. The fact that I come out of my front door and smell fresh air and not car exhaust, I see green fields and trees, animals playing, cockerels crowing, geese hissing, tractors working, deer's jumping and playing around in the fields and life is alright.
So I'm sending out Birthday waves to everyone today, keep smiling and make the most of the little things in life xxx
Gone are the days when you wake up to presents copious amounts of cards and Birthday wishes. I remember my work days in the UK when it was your responsibility to buy cakes for everyone in the firm when it was your Birthday. They had to be cream cakes and very calorific. You would get in to work and your desk would be covered in cards and presents and your working day would be lightened as a reward.
I remember the excitement of wondering what my dear Mum had bought me. She knew me so well that I always got given something wonderful. She would cook me one of her magnificent meals, she was just a divine cook and her roast potatoes were like clouds, fluffy and light.
My Birthdays when I was married were grim. I never got a present from my husband, I was lucky if he remembered. I remember once he wrapped up a load of old jewellery and there was I thinking he had actually bothered. On my 40th Birthday he thew all my presents and broke them in jealousy and hated me getting more cards than him, someone you had to feel sorry for and hope one day he will be happy with himself inside and out.
This year my Birthday will go like this, the toilet needs to be unblocked, the dogs need walking, the cats need feeding, the eggs need collecting, vet appointment, recycling needs doing, rubbish bags taken to the bins, washing and I need to get on with my latest portrait.
Am I happy, yes very, I had a kiss and hug from my two lovely children, my dog was happy to see to me today with waggy tail and a kiss, I am having a coffee with a friend later today, it isn't raining and the sun is trying to come out. The fact that I come out of my front door and smell fresh air and not car exhaust, I see green fields and trees, animals playing, cockerels crowing, geese hissing, tractors working, deer's jumping and playing around in the fields and life is alright.
So I'm sending out Birthday waves to everyone today, keep smiling and make the most of the little things in life xxx
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
In my Head
In my head I get up early, I whirl around doing de-cluttering, housework, washing, cleaning and various other domestic things. In my head I make lists and I am very organised. In my head I create wonderful new businesses and market my own business impeccably . I make wonderful dinners and bake cakes with pretty flowers on the top, iron and fold up clothes placing them in flower perfumed draws. I steam clean everything once a week. I spend time everyday writing my book, painting and drawing. Beds are straightened smart and flat. This is my life in my head.
My reality is something slightly different. I stagger out of bed after 3 alarms chime, scream and shout at me. I rush to make breakfast for the children. Porridge in the microwave with no glass turning table as this has broken, so I have to balance the dish on the plastic forks that turns. If uneven the dish tips and you end up with porridge all over the place. My second job is to unblock the toilet. This has to be done everyday as we have the most inefficient toilet in France. I have got the plunge time down to half a minute with a technique that forces everything down the minuscule hole into the foss. Next job is letting dogs out, cats in, feeding cleaning cat toilets and doing the outside poo run, making sure the bucket doesn't touch you and you don't tread in anything. I find that managing to get socks that match is a once a month miracle. Wearing a bra is a rare occurrence as anything more than a nipple and you have to buy maternity! It is now 11.30am so no beds made, no washing on, no pretty cakes made, no ironing done (not that I can find my iron at the moment), no vacuuming done, dishwasher not cleared and re-filled and no steaming done.
You see these wonderful mothers who fit so much into their days, being domestic goddesses. Could it be that difficult to be a domestic goddess or are some of us just not made to be like that! I am not and never will be a domestic goddess, life is chaos and the animals take up most of my time. I am lucky if I get one job done in a day and then I feel I have achieved something!
My reality is something slightly different. I stagger out of bed after 3 alarms chime, scream and shout at me. I rush to make breakfast for the children. Porridge in the microwave with no glass turning table as this has broken, so I have to balance the dish on the plastic forks that turns. If uneven the dish tips and you end up with porridge all over the place. My second job is to unblock the toilet. This has to be done everyday as we have the most inefficient toilet in France. I have got the plunge time down to half a minute with a technique that forces everything down the minuscule hole into the foss. Next job is letting dogs out, cats in, feeding cleaning cat toilets and doing the outside poo run, making sure the bucket doesn't touch you and you don't tread in anything. I find that managing to get socks that match is a once a month miracle. Wearing a bra is a rare occurrence as anything more than a nipple and you have to buy maternity! It is now 11.30am so no beds made, no washing on, no pretty cakes made, no ironing done (not that I can find my iron at the moment), no vacuuming done, dishwasher not cleared and re-filled and no steaming done.
You see these wonderful mothers who fit so much into their days, being domestic goddesses. Could it be that difficult to be a domestic goddess or are some of us just not made to be like that! I am not and never will be a domestic goddess, life is chaos and the animals take up most of my time. I am lucky if I get one job done in a day and then I feel I have achieved something!
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