Eggshells

You never know you have been walking on eggshells until you dont have to anymore.  You wake up one day and realise that you dont actually have to slide out of bed trying not to move any of the sheets and tip toe out the bedroom and down the stairs so as not to wake the man in the bed beside you. Life was a lot simpler when his eyes were shut. One day you wake up and the bed is empty next to you and you can jump out of bed singing throwing the covers back and sitting on the side of the bed looking at the sun coming up and its only then that the deep realisation that you have been tip toeing around that person for many years.  Its only then that the perfection you had achieved comes to light.  Spending 20 years making yourself invisible and quiet has been your lifes work and you have totally perfected it to the point where it was a way of life and you didnt give it a thought. Have you ever sat and watched someone asleep on the sofa and just wishing that the breath your watching them take would be their last and that would be it, freedom.  Life doesnt work like that and on this occassion this person decided that he would try and make it my last breath he watched.  Taking into his hands to try and put my head through the bannisters of the stairs then with one swift movemnt pulling my hair and thrusting my head down onto the coffee table and finally trying to strangle me.  This wasnt my desired ending but at the time something kicks in and you fight for your life.  An inner strength takes over and although I was not able to fight him off I did give him a run for his money before he pinned me to the ground and I started going blue.  It was at this point my son stepped in and jumped on his back, breaking his spell and giving me a chance to break free.  When you hear people say that life begins at 40 well I know what they mean as I had just turned 40 and this was the beginning of a chapter in my life I wouldnt wish on anyone and hopefully this book will help others to recognise the signs and avoid them.