I woke up with a pounding headache, pains in my stomach and a desperate need to go to the toilet. This bug gave me about 3 seconds between knowing I needed to go to the toilet and knowing I was not going to make it! Being that our toilet is in the coldest, dampest most miserable end of the house it was not really my choice to spend a week hovering around the toilet door, shivering and sad. Added to this I found out at the onset of the bug that we had a total of one and a half toilet rolls and 5 hygienic wipes (or bum wipes as we call them) left in the house. As I am sure you all know by now that my toilet has the worst flush in the world and very little gets round the U bend, just adding to the joys of a stomach bug.
My dog, who usually trots in to join me when I go to the toilet, even got fed up with the amount of times I went and by the third day ignored my 3 minute mile dash through the corridors and doors in an effort to beat the 3 second warning!
After about 5 days I thought I was never going to get better and decided to phone the Dr. Hoping that I would be able to explain to him that there was no way I could drive the 4 minutes to his surgery and sit with ailing people for around one hour just to be told to drink plenty of fluids and rest. Well I need not have worried as all I was given was a garbled message, spoken in 100 miles an hour french that the surgery was shut today. I say surgery in a very lose way as it consists of one room and a tiny waiting room with a few chairs.
So bravely I stuck it out for the duration of the bug and finally the 3 second warning stretched to 3 minutes and after about 7 days I was finally better.
Well today I was taking a shower and of course not wearing my glasses. I looked up at the air vent, which I have duct taped a piece of cardboard over as the ice like air that blasts through the holes would freeze the balls off a monkey, and what did I see a long black line coming from it. At first I thought 'snake', then looking a bit closer I could see something green. After a quick soap down and rinse I grabbed my glasses and slipped them on.
Well you might have been wrong in thinking it was another slug to join the party going on in the toilet, or another little snail that might want to have a chin wag with the other snail who joined the slugs in the toilet but no it was the end of a creeping ivy. It had also had the cheek to spout a leaf sitting there all proud saying hello I have come to join you in the shower!
After said shower I went outside to investigate and the ivy has now overtaken the rambling bramble and it making its way to the roof which can only be a bad thing. I have heard rumours that Ivy can take a roof off!! I am so pleased, just another problem to add to the millions and another job that is being put to the top of the list of 'to dos'
It's a creeping crawling life on the Funny Farm
