We've had a leak in the kitchen which I mistakenly though was dog or cat wee, I've been speared in the privates by a log with a surprisingly sharp protrusion which I was unaware of. The highlight of the week was teetering on a seesaw of wood, over a large puddle, reaching over to take the electronic machine to sign from our rather attractive delivery man, praying that I didn't fall in.
I think I have lost count at how many times I have bent over and felt round the side of the door for the electrical cable tied to the empty gas bottle and pulled it against the door until it was shut, this being to prevent the cats coming in the hall way and using it like a toilet. All this because the lock in the door has snapped so it doesn't close now. I have also lost count at how many times the handle to the garage door has fallen off as you shut it and you just pray that it doesn't land in a slop of poo in the garage. This handle has no inside so is duct taped to the door but the damp house has made the duct tape curl and come off!
In the last few months we have had three fridges pack up on us, we finally have one that is working ok and the cooker has decided it's his turn to play up! It might be Devine intervention as I usually burn everything, but the cooker has decided to keep going back to 160 no matter what you put it on. So dinners are taking hours to cook and needless to say they aren't burnt. If it wasn't for the fact that the cooker is closed I would have said something must have done a wee on it, but this isn't the case.
Dad had his second operation so both eyes are done now. Hopefully he will get some new glasses soon and will be able to see again. The first operation he fell out with all the hospital staff as he thought they were deliberately leaving him until last and thought he had been there for two days. This would be impossible as it is a day clinic. The second operation they kept a nurse with him all day so he didn't give his mind time to get confused.
Ive had my neck scanned by a man who also pummels your boobs in that test, he obviously is a multi skilled consultant. You lie in a darkened room for ages before he arrives, supposedly in just a bra but luckily I couldn't find my bra on this occasion so was wearing a little vest top, which I was glad about as it was fairly cool lying underneath the air con on a cold day and as my boobs were free and flowing they hung low so no risk of the pointy nipple syndrome. He then bursts into the room and speaks English, must have cottoned on due to my name, manipulates my arms into a strange yoga position and then tells me to lift my chins up as far as possible hold and don't move. Went one is placed in such an odd position and told not to move, you immediately need to swallow, cough, scratch and anything else that requires moving. So for 20 minutes I was trying to put myself on a desert island with warm water lapping at my ankles and sun on my chins, as these were at the highest point now and the sound of waves gently flowing. This then made me need to wee so I was then concentrating on not having an accident and not moving. Eventually he finished gave me a gigantic handful of paper towel to remove the cold gel and said everything was ok, I had new lumps but they were ok too. You then get ushered into a tiny room where you struggle and shove your clothes back on and the ordeal is over.
Well thats most of my week - fun and frolics, as always, at the Funny Farm
