This is my latest portrait. The lovely Samantha Brick
Monday 19 January 2015
My day so far
Well this morning, down on the Funny Farm, I was awakened by many bangs and crashes. Staggering out of bed, bleary eyed and knackered I wandered into the kitchen to find an over excited dog, a wide awake daughter and a tiny mouse stuck in the bottom of the dog food bin. All of which was not the normal greeting on a cold sleety Monday. My daughter squealed and told me how she had heard the mouse scrabbling around in the bottom of the bin and voila there it was. As she tried to get hold of it the little mouse bounced and bopped around in an effort to stay free. Just as she got hold of it, it jumped straight into the mouth of a waiting curious cat.
After all the fun of the mouse, the dogs began barking madly. Looking outside I saw the delivery man with the massive boxes of animal food. Dashing out in dressing gown and slipper I managed to step in a lovely big duck poo. Signing the computer screen with a squiggle that resembled nothing like my signature I hobbled over to the outside tap to wash my slipper. After cleaning off all remnants of duck poo I heaved up the massive box by the sturdy carry straps in an effort to take the 30 something kg box inside,only to find out the 'sturdy' carrying straps where actually not. As the straps broke the box tumbled down my dressing gown and landed on my duck poo slippered foot, splitting down the side and spilling the contents onto the soggy wet leaves.
After making several trips carrying heaving bags of animal feed into the house. I decided it was time to feed the outside cats as they had all congregated outside to see what all the commotion was. Taking one of the large bags outside with the scoop I was greeted by a dominant male called Brain who preceded to wrap his body around my ankles causing me to fly across the wet mud landing face first in, yes you guessed it, goose poo! I decided that I would throw a few biscuits out before going inside to shower and put my dressing gown in the washing machine. This proved too difficult today too. As I moved the full scoop across to the bowls Brain decided to headbutt me and tossed all the biscuits across the floor. Giving up I went inside.
Stepping under the lovely hot shower (the one luxury I have which I am thankful for everyday) I let the hot water cascade over me and after forcing the cement like freezing cold shower gel out of its bottle I managed a smile. This smile lasted all of 5 seconds as it suddenly ran cold causing me to jump, scream and slip backwards in the bath falling over so the ice cold water was spraying directly over all of me. Slipping and sliding to get up and get out seems to take an eternity. I finally got out and wrapped myself in a towel to find out why my shower had been so rudely interrupted. I did finally get a hot shower and am now dressed with 6 layers of thermals as you can see your breath in my house today.
I just have to deal with the dripping tap in the kitchen, change the gas bottle in the fire, clear the wood burner out ready for tonight and make some lunch. Life on the funny farm, never dull, never boring and always fun!!
Ps: Just caught my Dad trudging across the farm to the wood shop dragging two shopping trolleys behind him. Only problem with this was he had them round the wrong way so the metal stands where being dragged across the floor and not the wheels, causing major sparks, lots of noise and frightening all the animals!!
After all the fun of the mouse, the dogs began barking madly. Looking outside I saw the delivery man with the massive boxes of animal food. Dashing out in dressing gown and slipper I managed to step in a lovely big duck poo. Signing the computer screen with a squiggle that resembled nothing like my signature I hobbled over to the outside tap to wash my slipper. After cleaning off all remnants of duck poo I heaved up the massive box by the sturdy carry straps in an effort to take the 30 something kg box inside,only to find out the 'sturdy' carrying straps where actually not. As the straps broke the box tumbled down my dressing gown and landed on my duck poo slippered foot, splitting down the side and spilling the contents onto the soggy wet leaves.
After making several trips carrying heaving bags of animal feed into the house. I decided it was time to feed the outside cats as they had all congregated outside to see what all the commotion was. Taking one of the large bags outside with the scoop I was greeted by a dominant male called Brain who preceded to wrap his body around my ankles causing me to fly across the wet mud landing face first in, yes you guessed it, goose poo! I decided that I would throw a few biscuits out before going inside to shower and put my dressing gown in the washing machine. This proved too difficult today too. As I moved the full scoop across to the bowls Brain decided to headbutt me and tossed all the biscuits across the floor. Giving up I went inside.
Stepping under the lovely hot shower (the one luxury I have which I am thankful for everyday) I let the hot water cascade over me and after forcing the cement like freezing cold shower gel out of its bottle I managed a smile. This smile lasted all of 5 seconds as it suddenly ran cold causing me to jump, scream and slip backwards in the bath falling over so the ice cold water was spraying directly over all of me. Slipping and sliding to get up and get out seems to take an eternity. I finally got out and wrapped myself in a towel to find out why my shower had been so rudely interrupted. I did finally get a hot shower and am now dressed with 6 layers of thermals as you can see your breath in my house today.
I just have to deal with the dripping tap in the kitchen, change the gas bottle in the fire, clear the wood burner out ready for tonight and make some lunch. Life on the funny farm, never dull, never boring and always fun!!
Ps: Just caught my Dad trudging across the farm to the wood shop dragging two shopping trolleys behind him. Only problem with this was he had them round the wrong way so the metal stands where being dragged across the floor and not the wheels, causing major sparks, lots of noise and frightening all the animals!!
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