My mother was a complex lady, she was funny, loving, selfless but could lose her temper and strop for England. I remember when I was tiny hearing her shaking the back door and cursing the key that wouldn't turn, throwing the contents of her whole bag across the room because she thought she has lost her purse and getting angry with my dad who always refused to enter into any argument.
I remember falling about on her bedroom floor laughing with my sister until we had no breath while my mother tried on all these items my father had bought, mail order, from Russia. A massive thick army Arctic coat with a frozen dead mouse in the sleeve, a pair of pajamas that went round her three times and calico scratchy thick under wear which was like sand paper with long legs and buttons at the front!
She was a one off and never to be repeated. She would always be getting up to something silly and there was never a dull moment in our house. My father would come home from work to find the house turned upside down with a piano wedged solid in the doorway, her reasoning was she wanted a change but the stupid doorways were not big enough. She had spent all day heaving, pushing and pulling all the furniture around from room to room until she got to the piano which just wouldn't go through! Then with the instruction of my father we would spend the evening putting it all back.
I remember once my father bought a load of cheap beefburgers which my mother hated. She refused to cook them so one day she spent the day digging massive holes and burying the burgers in the garden. As they were frozen together in long tubes of 20 she had to dig very deep holes to bury them but her determination got her through and she completed the task before my father got home. The next morning when she came downstairs to make my fathers breakfast she noticed the foxes had had a field day in the garden and dug up all the burgers leaving loads of massive holes! Not wanting my father to see she stood by the back door until he had finished and left for work only to go back out and fill the holes up!
Although she did stupid things, like standing at the bottom of the stairs in a big department shop thinking they were escalators, walking around the shops with a loose pair of tights falling out the bottom of her trousers,, having a fit of the giggles in church, putting the dinner in the fridge and wondering why it didn't cook and getting lost coming out of a pub toilet and ending up in the staff quarters, she was the most amazing warm, caring person. If every you were ill, upset, confused or indecisive she was the one you would go to. Always there for a chat, advice, and a shoulder to cry on.
She was a wonderful pianist and played right up until she died. If she was cross she would bash the notes out and the ring of The Entertainer and The Butterfly would filter through the whole house. The piano, which we still have, was a family piano and survived the war with my grandfather carrying it on his back down the flights of stairs in a effort save it from the bombing. I remember learning on it and my sister playing her wonderful pieces on it too. It was my mother's pride and joy.
She was the one who said to me you must have children, I will look after them. This was because we didn't have enough money for me to give up work at the time. This was a wonderful decision because it meant I had two lovely children and they got to experience the unconditional love my mother gave. They loved her with every inch of their bodies she was their world.
When my mother was younger she would sleep walk and I remember her telling me through laughter and crying how she kicked her sister out the bed once while dreaming she was kicking a football into the goal! Her sister was not amused as she suffered a split lip from falling onto the electric fire.
I remember in later life her having a row with my father, a serious man who loved reading and never entertained into her frivolity and telling us afterwards she had pretended to died for an hour just to see if he would notice! Proudly telling us that she was right she could die and he would probably still bring her breakfast in bed, coffee and tea and not even notice. He just looked over the top of his glasses and tutted.
When they got older their bedtime ritual was crosswords and I remember listening to her shouting out to him the clue and letters to a word. My father being a bit deaf didn't always hear her. So it went like this - 8 letters and I've got S T Blank Blank B Blank, my father says what was that F T, NO shouts mum S T, that's what I said F T, and then she screams out NO S for shit, T for Tit, B for Bum !!!! My father calmly turned over and said I'm not playing if your'e going to be rude goodnight!! LOL
We had fun, there wasn't a day I didn't talk or see my mother, I made sure she was in the centre of our lives and we included her in everything. I cannot explain how much we miss her, that person who was always there on the end of the phone or in the next room. Her greeting to me when I walked through the door was Oh goodie come sit down tell me everything. I haven't got that person anymore but I am so lucky to have had her in my life for so long. She left many memories, she made me who I am and she was a lady who lives in our hearts forever
Hi Heather, What a beautiful and loving tribute to your mother. All the best, Jane
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