Just Wondering

I'm just wondering if its fair.  When you are married and your other half does something wrong and you divorce, you have to pay to divorce them even though they are the ones who have wronged you.

My divorce cost me over £12,000 all because my husband fought every step of the way wanted everything, even the roof over our children's head.  I had to take it all to court which cost even more.  He on the other hand was in prison so got everything free.  The state had to pay to have him taken out of prison to attend court which cost a fortune as he had to be in an heavy duty van, handcuffed to two guards. Me on the other hand was suffering from a head injury, traumatized children and a redundancy.

He spent his life living on the back of my career and didn't really contribute to much.  It seems so wrong that he then wanted the house the car the money and said he didn't care if his children were left on the street penniless!  I remember the judge in the court telling him that in his court my husband has no rights specially as he was sitting handcuffed to two big guards!  He also said that he would not have allowed the attack charge to be reduced so as to guarantee a charge, something that still upsets me as I had concussion for a week and didn't recover properly for over 2 years from the head injury.

I now have the same problem (will I ever learn you say!).  I have my house here, which was paid for totally by my family, but has the man, who conned us out of over a million euros, name on the deeds.  I remember him saying that he will not do all the building work if he doesn't have his name on the deeds as well.  He said how can I trust you not to shut me out when I've given up everything  for you!!! I have since found out that if I die he gets everything and my family can be thrown out and be homeless.  I now have to pay to take his name off and it is possible, specially in french law, that I will have to give him half the value of the property.  Bearing in mind he put nothing into the property has never paid one bill and was in debt, we found out after he disappeared, when we met him.  This I have been told will cost me a lot of money. something I do not have, plus it might not ever be able to be done.  French law is different and doesn't make a lot of sense. He told the police when he was arrested that he didn't want anything to do with the house but he knows if he just hangs on he is going to inherit it.

So I am asking why do we have to be the ones to pay for the right thing to happen.  I also want to know if I have finally learnt my lesson.  Although I have to say when my whole family were conned I was recovering from a head injury, a divorce and a redundancy.  I had taken several little jobs just to make ends meat but was very unwell, so to have a man come in like a angel doing everything, helping everyone and generally being wonderful you tent to let them take over.  It is not until you are left with nothing you find out he heard about your story and zoned in on you!

So I ask again is it fair that the wronged party has to do all the legal work and all the paying?  It seems a little unfair. Also if I haven't learnt my lesson now then there is no hope for me!