In my Head

In my head I get up early, I whirl around doing de-cluttering, housework, washing, cleaning and various other domestic things.  In my head I make lists and I am very organised.  In my head I create wonderful new businesses and market my own business impeccably .  I make wonderful dinners and bake cakes with pretty flowers on the top, iron and fold up clothes placing them in flower perfumed draws.  I steam clean everything once a week.  I spend time everyday writing my book, painting and drawing.  Beds are straightened smart and flat.  This is my life in my head.

My reality is something slightly different.  I stagger out of bed after 3 alarms chime, scream and shout at me.  I rush to make breakfast for the children.  Porridge in the microwave with no glass turning table as this has broken, so I have to balance the dish on the plastic forks that turns.  If uneven the dish tips and you end up with porridge all over the place.  My second job is to unblock the toilet.  This has to be done everyday as we have the most inefficient toilet in France.  I have got the plunge time down to half a minute with a technique that forces everything down the minuscule hole into the foss.  Next job is letting dogs out, cats in, feeding cleaning cat toilets and doing the outside poo run, making sure the bucket doesn't touch you and you don't tread in anything. I find that managing to get socks that match is a once a month miracle.  Wearing a bra is a rare occurrence as anything more than a nipple and you have to buy maternity!  It is now 11.30am so no beds made, no washing on, no pretty cakes made, no ironing done (not that I can find my iron at the moment), no vacuuming done, dishwasher not cleared and re-filled and no steaming done.

You see these wonderful mothers who fit so much into their days, being domestic goddesses. Could it be that difficult to be a domestic goddess or are some of us just not made to be like that! I am not and never will be a domestic goddess, life is chaos and the animals take up most of my time.  I am lucky if I get one job done in a day and then I feel I have achieved something!