That Sinking Feeling

So today I stagger out of bed after being prompted by 3 alarms and go for my usual wee on the usual blocked toilet.

The routine of the morning goes something like this.  I have to make porridge for the children before they go to work.  Let the dog out for his wee on an unblocked field, and sit down with a coffee in front of the news.  After the children have gone off to work I set to carrying out the routine of unblocking the toilet.  I have mastered this procedure over the seven years of living in France.  It takes a cursory flush then a forceful, rigorous plunge.  Then four buckets of water tipped from a great height to get maximum jet action, then a wipe round with a disinfectant wipe, some foss friendly pointless cleaner (only function is to mask the ode to farmyard smell) and then a good scrub with a toilet brush and then a final four buckets of water tipped from a great height.  That concludes my daily ritual of the unblocking toilet routine.

Today though I woke up from having little sleep.  This was due to the cringe worthy, utterly embarrassing, crawl in a ball, fall down a large hole, fall asleep and never wake up type of day I had yesterday.

I had clients coming, clients to visit, the internet man was coming to fix the internet after having no phone or internet for week, an appointment with the Drs and various other things to try and fit around my already busy day.

I thought I had timed everything down to the last half hour, when a client failed to turn up in the allotted time given.  This caused a problem as I had to go out to see another client.  In my infinite wisdom I left my 84 year old dad in charge of meeting and greeting the late client.  Nothing could go wrong I thought.  I prepped him on anything and everything I thought could go wrong.  As these were new clients I had coffee ready and was going to sit and chat with them etc.  Well off I went to client and hoped and prayed all would go well.

I got back home to find another client on site and Dad said that the late client had turned up and all was well.  After a while I asked Dad if he had given them a coffee and he said no but the man had used the toilet.  No toilets are not a strong point on this farm, you would never find one in 'Homes and Gardens' and I have to be given plenty of warning if someone wants to venture in to take a leak!!

Tentatively asking him which toilet the client has used he said he had let him use the one in the long barn!!!!!!!!! My heart sank, I just wanted to sit and cry.  I asked him why he would let someone into a toilet that was broken no water in it, rubbish bags waiting to go to the bins in the village, piles of junk everywhere and a smell that would render even the most sinus challenged person unconscious.  I was speechless, what can you say when something has been done and there is nothing you can do about it?

I was always taught, in my years in client services, that if something goes wrong it's the recovery that saves the day.  The way in which you deal swiftly, calmly and with precision is how you will be remembered and the error gets forgotten.  So trying to put these words of wisdom into practice I called the client to say that everything was ok and to apologise for the toilet that wasn't a toilet but a smelly junk room, but even while talking to him I wanted to crawl into a corner and die.

I can just imagine the conversation he had with his wife about his experience in the room from hell.  So today, even though it is raining I shall be moving the junk from the room and cleaning it out and adding a sign on the door saying 'private'.

Apart from that, the internet man turned up at 8am and walked straight in my house without knocking, after propelling himself over the fence in his hydraulic lift on the back of the van (we do have a gate by the way!).  Luckily I was in my pjs not someone who walks around naked in the morning!  I then made my son a cup of tea with coffee in it and tried to put the drying up cloth back in the food cupboard.  I then spend half an hour walking on my heels and toes in the Drs room while being asked in french where it hurts!

So today, it might be raining cords (as the french say,) I am tired, the dog has come in soaked and shook all over me and the kitchen, all is well and nothing a little sleep, some chocolate and coffee won't fix.

Life on the Funny Farm remains hilarious!