Well I am sure if I said to you fiery crotch you would be tempted to say lucky you. Well let me tell you there was no 'lucky me' the day I was inflicted with this terrible condition!!
I had inadvertently bought some trousers in the sale. As I thought nice patterned ones which would do for a summer. Being unaware of their fibre content and thinking they felt like mostly cotton with a little, shall we say, stretch ability added.
I decided to wear them on what turned out to be one of the hottest days this year and a day I was going to be travelling, in the car around France, for most of it!
Well donning these slacks in the morning light when the sun was just up and the temperature had only just begun to rise, was no problem.
The problem arose about an hour into the day and while driving in sweltering temperatures I could feel the heat rising in my crotch and feeling like a fire had started.
Telling my daughter was no comfort as she just laughed! As the day went on I was so uncomfortable that the thought of just ripping them off and driving in my pants was definitely an option that might have come to fruition.
Have you ever felt so uncomfortable that you would be happy to run around naked if it meant the discomfort was stopped? Well that's how I felt.
The feeling of fire trapped within your trousers is the most unpleasant feeling ever. I ended up at one of my stops taking them off for a bit of light relief. When looking at the label there it was in tiny type thermal qualities!!!
I now know why they were being sold off in the summer at such a bargain price and have learnt to read labels before going out in thermal trousers when the temperature is in the late 30s!
Needless to say my legs were red and I would say felt burnt and my daughter was happy to tell everyone I was suffering from nappy rash hahaha
Always fun on the Funny Farm!
Saturday 26 July 2014
Thursday 3 July 2014
Hidden Costs
I often here people saying how wonderful it is to have natural resources and live off the land. Well let me just give you the heads up on natural resources.
It isn't as cost effective as you might think. So we have a well. a great resource but it needs a pump that runs on electric and an experienced man who knows what he is doing to attach it all up so it works. Then you need to pay to have the water tested to see if the filter (that you bought) work and the water is ok to drink. If not then you will get a report saying you can use it for everything else but drinking so please buy bottled water for consumption!!
We then have a wood burner. Brilliant you think living off the natural woodland. All very well but you either have to buy the wood which costs a fortune or if you are lucky enough to have wood on your land you have to cut it yourself. This means you buying a heavy duty chainsaw which costs several hundreds of Euros, the fuel and oil to put in it and then pay for the regular sharpening of the chain.
Growing your own produce is wonderful but if you, like us, have poor soil you have to add good compost. Now you can either buy it or make it yourself either way it will cost you. Then when you have the produce all grown and picked you either have to cook, blanch or bag it up to freeze. This consists of buying the bags, boxes or trays, using gas or electric to cook and in some cases people go and buy another freezer to hold all the produce costing more electric to run and the cost of the freezer. Then you have to think of pest control which costs even if you do the natural or chemical method, then there is the mesh covers to stop birds and pests eating the produce, the canes to hold things up and the feed to encourage them to grow.
Speaking from someone who has experiences both ways of living the on tap touch of a button type and the hard graft living the natural basic life I can say nothing in life is free and whatever way round you do it it's going to cost you.
No so Free on the Funny Farm!
It isn't as cost effective as you might think. So we have a well. a great resource but it needs a pump that runs on electric and an experienced man who knows what he is doing to attach it all up so it works. Then you need to pay to have the water tested to see if the filter (that you bought) work and the water is ok to drink. If not then you will get a report saying you can use it for everything else but drinking so please buy bottled water for consumption!!
We then have a wood burner. Brilliant you think living off the natural woodland. All very well but you either have to buy the wood which costs a fortune or if you are lucky enough to have wood on your land you have to cut it yourself. This means you buying a heavy duty chainsaw which costs several hundreds of Euros, the fuel and oil to put in it and then pay for the regular sharpening of the chain.
Growing your own produce is wonderful but if you, like us, have poor soil you have to add good compost. Now you can either buy it or make it yourself either way it will cost you. Then when you have the produce all grown and picked you either have to cook, blanch or bag it up to freeze. This consists of buying the bags, boxes or trays, using gas or electric to cook and in some cases people go and buy another freezer to hold all the produce costing more electric to run and the cost of the freezer. Then you have to think of pest control which costs even if you do the natural or chemical method, then there is the mesh covers to stop birds and pests eating the produce, the canes to hold things up and the feed to encourage them to grow.
Speaking from someone who has experiences both ways of living the on tap touch of a button type and the hard graft living the natural basic life I can say nothing in life is free and whatever way round you do it it's going to cost you.
No so Free on the Funny Farm!
The BBQ
Well today I am sitting in the sun under a large umbrella watching the guest dogs play on the grass and the many cats pouncing and playing with each other. I am also wondering why. I am wondering why I agreed to having a BBQ this weekend. I must have been mad, when, with not a care in the world, excitedly I said yes what a great idea lets have a BBQ!! Forgetting that the BBQ had been resting in a dark corner of the barn for several years and was covered in straw, cobwebs, cat prints (possible cat wee too!) and bugs of all description, plus it had been used to stand plant pots and soil on.
So yesterday my daughter and I dragged out this massive BBQ with only one wheel and a stump so the process was difficult, to say the least, as it was heavy.
I then spent the best part of the day steam cleaning, jet washing and scrubbing it in an effort to get it up to standard. Then came the moment of truth, would it start. I managed to screw on the gas bottle and then nothing! No not a puff, squirt or smell of gas came from the jets. I tried matches and blowing on it and even gave it a shake. I then unscrewed the gas bottle and tried again. This time I could hear the gas escaping hoorah you say, not too soon I say, it still wouldn't start. I then tried the matches again as the ignition has no turn press and hold function anymore and was welded into one position 'off'!! Low and behold a whoosh of gas and the jets ignited hoorah we all said whoop whoop I hear you saying!
I then left in on for a long time to burn off any further rust and unwanted deposits. So today I will be attacking it with a wire brush and a further jet wash and steam. Then I thought I might cook dinner on it tonight and if we survive without any nasty after effects I think we can all say the BBQ is good to go!!!
The other jobs before people arrive at the Funny Farm are, change broken toilet seat, not sure the guests would appreciate a pinched bum cheek as there is a knack of sitting on it without pain! Bag up washing and hide, clear hallway to toilet of dog paraphernalia, drag over chairs from storage, cut ever growing grass again and make sure all poo is picked up just prior to guests arriving and then put corks up dogs bums for duration of BBQ. I also have to make flans, cook cakes roast stuff, chop things and make sure outside table is washed and all trace of cat paws have been removed before putting food on!!
So I say again WHY did I agree to such a silly idea and why has everyone said yes to coming!!!
Funny Farm Open for BBQ this weekend anyone with a strong stomach and partially sighted is welcome hahahaha
So yesterday my daughter and I dragged out this massive BBQ with only one wheel and a stump so the process was difficult, to say the least, as it was heavy.
I then spent the best part of the day steam cleaning, jet washing and scrubbing it in an effort to get it up to standard. Then came the moment of truth, would it start. I managed to screw on the gas bottle and then nothing! No not a puff, squirt or smell of gas came from the jets. I tried matches and blowing on it and even gave it a shake. I then unscrewed the gas bottle and tried again. This time I could hear the gas escaping hoorah you say, not too soon I say, it still wouldn't start. I then tried the matches again as the ignition has no turn press and hold function anymore and was welded into one position 'off'!! Low and behold a whoosh of gas and the jets ignited hoorah we all said whoop whoop I hear you saying!
I then left in on for a long time to burn off any further rust and unwanted deposits. So today I will be attacking it with a wire brush and a further jet wash and steam. Then I thought I might cook dinner on it tonight and if we survive without any nasty after effects I think we can all say the BBQ is good to go!!!
The other jobs before people arrive at the Funny Farm are, change broken toilet seat, not sure the guests would appreciate a pinched bum cheek as there is a knack of sitting on it without pain! Bag up washing and hide, clear hallway to toilet of dog paraphernalia, drag over chairs from storage, cut ever growing grass again and make sure all poo is picked up just prior to guests arriving and then put corks up dogs bums for duration of BBQ. I also have to make flans, cook cakes roast stuff, chop things and make sure outside table is washed and all trace of cat paws have been removed before putting food on!!
So I say again WHY did I agree to such a silly idea and why has everyone said yes to coming!!!
Funny Farm Open for BBQ this weekend anyone with a strong stomach and partially sighted is welcome hahahaha
Time out
Yesterday my daughter and I went over to see a lovely lady called Helen Grinder. She lives in a wonderful house in the middle of nowhere and she holds retreats, seminars and general wellness Reiki and many other relaxing sessions.
The house is calming, quiet and comfortable. You feel an instant peace when you walk in. It takes you away from all the madness of life today.
So I am saying to you if you fancy a change of path in life then she offers many great courses and retreats or if you just need that little escape from the the real world then this is the place to come.
Enjoy x
http://www.liftyourspirit.co.uk/
The house is calming, quiet and comfortable. You feel an instant peace when you walk in. It takes you away from all the madness of life today.
So I am saying to you if you fancy a change of path in life then she offers many great courses and retreats or if you just need that little escape from the the real world then this is the place to come.
Enjoy x
http://www.liftyourspirit.co.uk/
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