Making it through

My Children

Well I can officially say I made it through.  You might ask me 'through what' and I would tell you 'The Teens'!  My children are now 20 and 22 so I think I can safely say I made it through and still smiling.  The secrets of getting through this turbulent time in you children's lives is to relax, stay calm and remain their friend. Easier said than done I hear you say.  It can be a very volatile time with rushing hormones creating outburst you never thought you'd witness and lows so extreme you wouldn't be sure if your love could carry them through.    That said my children have made it through and we are all still great friends.

I always told my children that no matter what they have done, how bad they think the situation is if they don't tell me I can't help.  I also said that I would never abandon them even though I might be cross I would always help.  Having given them my best lecture I have to say they didn't do anything that needed my hair to go grey and the hairs on my skin to stand on end! It did though make then very honest and telling me everything.  I was told when my son tried his first cigarette, at 13, and found him crying asking if he was going to die of cancer now!  We are a very open family talking about sex, problems and many different issues and by making everything 'ok' to talk has meant they are responsible for their own actions and having talked about it they make good choices and act in a responsible manner. 

Having a few blips along the way and some much bigger issues we have got through it together.  I have tried to always show love and when things break down they know you are always there and the security of having the family bond without judgement means they come through their ups and downs much quicker. 

They had a strong bond with my parents and helped me care for my mum, their grandmother, before she died.  This still hurts as they were really close to her but we now talk about her, laugh about things she did, keeping her in our lives and above all remembering her everyday.

The other thing I think helps is to laugh at everything.  We always find the positive and funny side of things and have a smile or a laugh together which always lightens the day.  My children have been through quite a lot in their short lives, but being able to pigeon hole things, making sense of situations, keeping humour and being able to talk openly about everything has been essential.  All these things have created well rounded adults with a good grasp on life. 

I am extremely proud of my children, they don't smoke, they don't really drink excessively, they rarely go to clubs, they are not materialistic, they have a caring nature and they are the loves of my life.