Hair & Hot Weather

Well today was a wonderfully hot day and I was visited by a photographer for a UK newspaper.  Well he was quick to tell me he hates cats and thinks they should all be shot while being surrounded by my 14 cats LOL  Then he says he doesnt really like dogs either while my rather large dog proceeded to bound around him panting and licking.  He then said he wanted to photograph us around the big tree trunks lying on the floor round the back of the farm.  After clambering up and over in high heels and glam clothing Holly and I arrived in the middle of two trunks standing in mud and muck.  Being told to lean on the trunk and putting the dog in the middle we were asked to focus on him while he took a bucket load of pictures.  All the time telling me I needed a hair cut as the wind whipped my mop around gracefully covering my face and Holly's too. Like my hair, our dog Alfie wasn't playing his part either and wouldnt look at the camera and the chosen cat for the pictures was not happy about being held and  buried in amongst my hair and having the dogs tongue drawling on her.  We finally moved to inside where I though my hair would not be a problem,  but was asked to change my clothes so it didnt look like the pictures were taken all on the same day.  Having spent many hours picking out an outfit that didnt enhance belly and bum this was quite distressing!! I was given a few moments to rip off my clothes and pick out another suitable hopefully slimming outfit!!  Having done and presented myself in the kitchen only to be told by my daughter that my top was see through and the belly was quite visible and so was the flowery bra, at this point I thought oh what the hell lets just roll with it and hope they dont chose these ones!  Then being told to pretend to pour water into cups that Holly and my dad were holding, in my infinite wisdom I chose the kettle that sits on the wood burner, being of an attractive style and preceded to hold it over a mug and pretend to talk.  What I didnt realise was that he was going to say hold it there and hold it and hold it and hold and being make of cast iron I was literally shaking at having to hold such an immense weight!!!!! We then had to go out again and he had me twisted like a pretzal over a wooden chair which was most uncomfortable while gripping my hair with the back of my neck, trying not to let my double chin drop and smiling like the world was wonderful, while looking into this animal hating mans eyes, it was a quite miserable LOL That said I came back to my housesit and was resting with a cup of coffee and a good book with my hair tied up like a pineapple no bra and slippers when a little french man , no teeth and breasts bigger than mine turned up.  Asking if the caravan was for sale I politely gave him a telephone number to try and as he was leaving he turned round and said in french you have lovely hair its magnificent its beautiful its really lovely and putting his thumbs up and smiling with gums showing he stood there waiting for me to do something spectacular all I could do was say ok and thumbs up hahahahaha well all I can say is Im glad that its illegal in France for men to take their tops off otherwise summer would be all teeth & tits - grateful for small mercies!!!